As a therapist who specializes in confronting the impacts of emotionally unavailable parents, I've had the privilege of joining some incredibly insightful podcasts to dig into this heavy topic. From breaking cycles of shame to rewiring dysfunctional beliefs to modeling secure attachments for our own kids, these conversations got refreshingly raw and real. Here's a quick recap of my 6 most candid podcast interviews on the subject.

The cover of the "Adult Child" Podcast — Adult Child Podcast EP154:

**The Not Good Enough Wound: Healing From Emotionally Immature Parents w/ Marie Selleck**

First up, my chat on "The Adult Child" podcast about the subliminal shame so many of us have subconsciously inherited from emotionally immature parents. Those little criticisms, dismissive tones, and lack of warmth plant seeds of self-doubt that can grow into full-blown negative self-talk and sabotaging patterns as adults if left unexamined.

We also unpacked how those dysfunctional family roles we inhabited as kids - the overachiever, the comedian, the lost child - manifest into very different but equally damaging coping mechanisms in our grown-up lives. The work is being radically honest about which archetype you leaned into for safety and bringing awareness to how you may still be operating from that place.

Perhaps most importantly, we confronted the tough truth that unresolved childhood trauma doesn't just impact us - it shapes how we parent our own kids too. If we grew up feeling emotionally insecure and dysregulated, it's an uphill battle to provide our children with the consistent safety, attunement, and secure attachment they deserve...unless we get committed to interrupting those generational patterns.

That's where the idea of "good enough" parenting comes in - none of us will be perfect, but we can absolutely strive to become the emotionally available parents we deserved through self-work, repair when we miss the mark, and modeling new healthier dynamics.

image of Don't Shrink To Fit Podcast — Don’t Shrink to Fit Podcast S3 E86:

**The complex relationship with an emotional unavailable parent with Marie Selleck**

Next up, I had the privilege of being interviewed by Claudia Noriega-Bernstein on her podcast “Don’t Shrink to Fit.” I shared my deeply personal journey of discovering how childhood experiences shape our adult lives. During our conversation, I opened up about a pivotal moment at age 26 when I began recognizing unsettling parallels between my father's emotional unavailability and my ex-husband's behaviors. This realization became a catalyst for me to explore how these early family dynamics had profoundly influenced my mental health, self-worth, and life choices - including the partners I was drawn to.

What makes this topic so important is that many of us carry these patterns without even realizing it. I discussed how the healing process from my divorce led me to stop seeking validation from others and finally start living authentically on my own terms. Through my work with clients, I've discovered that countless people struggle with similar issues stemming from emotionally distant or dismissive parents. This insight inspired me to create a coaching program in 2022 that combined self-paced modules with personalized sessions, offering a more efficient path to healing than traditional therapy alone. Though I have stopped the coaching program, I continue to work with individuals in therapy to address these patterns. My hope is that by sharing my story, others can recognize their own patterns and begin the transformative work of breaking free from limiting beliefs that no longer serve them.

At the end of the day, unpacking the impacts of emotionally unavailable parents is about way more than just venting about our rough childhoods. It's about understanding how those experiences have shaped our adult patterns - from self-worth and shame, to relationships, to our own parenting approaches. It's about getting radically honest about what emotional resources we missed out on, so we can intentionally fill those gaps going forward and disrupt those generational cycles.

Is it comfortable or easy work? Hell no! Few things are more vulnerable than confronting how the lack of emotional availability from our parents impacted our self-perceptions, our ability to cultivate emotional intimacy, our outlets for pain and discomfort. But that discomfort is what allows us to grow into the grounded, emotionally regulated, and self-assured adults and parents we deserve to be. It gives us the ability to rewrite the narrative about what healthy, attuned emotional bonds look like for ourselves and our families.

So if you've been carrying around old shame or self-sabotaging patterns rooted in your childhood experiences of emotional neglect or immaturity from parents, It's time to get brutally honest, compassionate with yourself, and committed to breaking the cycle once and for all. Marie E Selleck Therapy offers a safe place to process through Therapy for Childhood Emotional Neglect. Therapy offered in Grand Rapids, MI or online in Michigan, Florida, or Arizona.

Your empowered, self-assured adulthood is waiting.

contact me